Unfortunately, this actually does flick a switch in the mind of your ex, but not the one you want. They (the person who has been dumped) think that reaching out to their ex while they are feeling those things will result in reconciliation, so they break no contact with a text or a call. I am happy to tell them that he/she likely does if they have done the right thing which is to give them time, silence, and space to miss them.īut many people do the wrong thing upon learning that no contact can make their ex miss them.
When a client asks me, “Is my ex thinking about me?” or “Does he miss me during no contact?” Your ex begins to wonder what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with, and if you are thinking about them. These thoughts and feelings build and compound. You want them thinking along those lines!
the dumper) usually feels strength (and often relief) at the very first, but with the days and weeks of no contact your ex likely begins to develop feelings of doubt in their decision, missing you, fear that you have moved on, and confusion that you have not chased, begged, and pleaded as most others do after being dumped. Usually the person who has been broken up with feels the pain of no contact immediately and then begins to develop strength over time. Your ex probably doesn’t feel the effects of no contact at the same trajectory you do. That’s right, your ex’s mind is your greatest ally in your fight to get them back. Yes, your ex probably doesn’t have bad thoughts about you unless you two broke up due to shared anger at each other.īut even then, if you are giving your ex space and not pestering them with texts and calls, they are likely using your greatest ally – their mind – to separate the anger at the end from the rest of your relationship.
I discuss that in the articles linked to above but that’s not what this article is about. In fact, the opposite is true if you want to get them back. Just because they’re thinking about you or even if your ex is missing you during no contact, that doesn’t mean you should text, call, or go see them. If you’ve just been broken up with, read “What Do I Do If I Was Just Dumped?” for a detailed explanation of why this is the case and why it should encourage you. Just because you know what your ex is thinking during no contact does not mean that you should reach out to him or her. That does not mean you should reach out to them. It is most likely that your ex still cares about you and thinks about you during no contact. Unless your ex is truly dealing with mental problems or genuine/clinical character flaws, that is not the case. Many people who call me for coaching to get their ex back feel that when their ex broke up with them that a switch was flicked in their ex’s mind so that now their ex is cold and no longer feels anything for them. If you want to know what is he thinking during no contact (or she), this article will explain the concept for both the male and female mind during no contact. They will ask if no contact makes their ex miss them or want to get back together, if the no contact rule works on men, women, etc. Get your ex back with Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit!įor more information, read The No Contact Rule.